Autumn As A Mirror

Originally published in Elephant Journal | December 3, 2014

Autumn Leaves

To be of the Earth is to know

the restlessness of being a seed
the darkness of being planted
the struggle toward the light
the pain of growth into the light
the joy of bursting and bearing fruit
the love of being food for someone
the scattering of your seeds
the mystery of death
and the miracle of birth.
~ John Soos

This poem brings me into connection with the unending metaphors that the earth shares. When the seasons start to change I cannot help but reflect.

I sit here contemplating the Fall Equinox as it descends. The mourning dove squabs have long left their nest. The breeze that tickles my skin in the evening is crisp and clear. The leaves crunch beneath my feet.

The Fall reminds me that just as the seasons ebb and flow, so do the cycles of my life.

Fall is a time for remembering—a time for gratitude for how the year unfolded. Fall is a time for preparation. It is a time to bring closure to the year and prepare for the coming winter.

I remember this year fondly.

This is the year that I accepted the death of my father and my ability to continue a relationship with him in another realm.

It is the year that I married myself and realized that I am the only one who can give me what I need.

It is the year that I looked in the mirror with my hands on my heart and said you are beautiful—I love you, instead of expecting to receive that from someone else.

It is the year that my heart was torn open again because of my fear of abandonment and my fear of actually being seen in my wholeness. As I step into my 30th year I am aware that there is no returning to the past. The leaves will grow anew next season—the ones that have fallen will not come back to life.

I prepare for the coming winter.

I am excited for the cold to push me inside my home and inside myself where I can fully integrate the growth and change from the past year. Where I can rest, heal and draw new inspiration for the coming of the new year.

This is where new vision can be born.

This is where acceptance and patience thrive. I look forward to the crisp, white snow that will blanket us and say,

“Quiet now. It is time to hibernate and prepare for spring. What fruits have you harvested to get you through the winter?”

When we are aware of the Earth’s processes—seeing ourselves as parts of a whole—we learn to let go of the need to control life. We are reminded to accept the inevitable cycles of green and dry, birth and death, cold and warm, emptiness and fullness, light and dark, that characterize the events and activities of our daily life.

The earth teaches us these lessons each and every day. We are gifted with the mirror of the seasons.

This Fall I wish for us all the gift of gratitude, of completion, and of letting go.

 

  • What are you grateful for?
  • What are you completing and leaving behind?
  • What do you notice about the changing season?
  • What mirror can it offer you?
  • What lessons does it bring you?
  • What are you infinitely grateful for?

 

On the land the leaves are falling, the soil is decomposing, and the animals are preparing for winter. I will continue to breath the cool air into my lungs and give thanks.

Offering: What do you notice about the changing season? What mirror can it offer you? What lessons does it bring you? What are you infinitely grateful for?